In China, we had a Chinese folk tale that was classical. In the Chinese lunar calendar, on July 7th, so many magpies create a bridge for the weaver girl and the cow herder to date in the galaxy, so they just see each other during one year; consequently, they just miss each other. I think long distance relationships (hereinafter referred to as “LDR”) were a very common idea in ancient times. Currently, in the US, LDR are becoming ever more common. In 2005, approximately 3.5 million people in the US alone were involved in long-distance marriages (Long Distance Relationship Statistics). Five years ago, I always kept a LDR with my girlfriend, and that was a really bad experience for me, and affected my life for 5 years.
LDR can slowly devour your life. When we are LDR, we must face some problems, such as, we have different background in our cities, but your lovers live in different city, so they have different classmates, parties, society, even cultures. Also, we don’t have common topics with your lover, and slowly, you may be become unfamiliar with them because you don’t have topics to talk about, and communication is very import because that effects relationships, and finally, communication becomes less and less, even break up. Also, we are always alone, when we live a city and our lovers in another city, like me during those years, I always felt loneliness, and I didn’t have her with me to watch movie, or go to parties, also, for so many years I couldn’t even have a dinner date with her. To be honest, I’m loyal for the relationship, so I didn’t date other girls, I bear that, not only I hate that because LDR let us to feel what is missing and we couldn’t touch each other, but also I love that because she didn’t mind the long distance.
Furthermore, LDR always wastes time, money and affection. About 4 years ago, we promised each other that we would on a trip. After she went to other cities to study in the fall, on the day of the trip, I packed my luggage and I went to the bus station to wait for her, I remember I waited for her all afternoon. I thought she just is late, so I continued to wait for her, until the evening, I called her and she said, “I’m so sorry, I was busy, and I couldn’t get back home to go on the trip…” she explained to me, but I couldn’t hear her reasons. I felt very helpless, hopeless and sad. I was crying, and I said to myself, “Why did I do that? Why don’t I find another girl?” I gave up the idea because I thought she is my true love. After, when we enrolled university in China, we were living in separate cities again, so I took the train every weekend to visit her. I spent about 5 hours for a round-trip, also, when I arrived her city’s train station, I needed to take to a bus to her university and it was a 2-hour bus ride, I always felt tired every weekend. Nonetheless, I couldn’t stop because I missed her, and we liked walking in the park and chatting every weekend. “The trip” continued for a year, until I came to the US. I probably calculate “the trip” spending time approximate 288hours ((five hours + four hours) eight months (except summer vacation & winter vacation) 4weekends), this doesn’t include to going the train station from my university, I think I’m crazy, but I just keep the relationship. I am hardworking but and I have wasted a lot of time.
In addition, we can’t give attention to my job and study when we are LDR. According to 200 pairs of couples statistics (Long Distance Relationship Statistics), average number of phone calls once every 2 days, average length of phone calls 30 minutes, average number visits is 1.5 times per month, etc. I think the statistics is very old because that from 2005, maybe, now every average numbers are growing because science and technology has changed, and automobiles and airplanes are faster and faster, so the number visits may be become 1.5 times per week. When we focus on her what how to visit her and what time to visit her, I believe us that we can’t pay attention to our jobs and study; for example, currently, I need to talk to my girlfriend on FaceTime for 1 hour per day, because of jet lag, I just talk with her in the night, and I usually study at night, so I can’t stop talking and I can’t stop studying. Sometimes, I write essays while my girlfriend is talking to me, so I just break my studying and to talk with her. These problems plague LRD lovers.
My girlfriend and I are apart 6,975 miles, but I believe I can shorten this long distance. I believe technology can shorten this long distance. I believe that when we have the experience and get married that will be genuine love. I advice you to don’t choose LDR because it will deplete your determination.