Helpless Tears

I listened to “Mama! China,” a song written by two Chinese students studying in North America, and it stirred up endless thoughts, so I wrote this short poem. Faced with choosing between two paths of education, I’m honestly lost. How am I supposed to choose?

Helpless Tears

China,

our motherland,

the place that raised us.

China,

not yet a hundred years old,

China,

motherland,

mother,

I look at you,

and my heart aches without end,

should I weep,

or simply grieve.

Motherland,

I cannot shake your foundations,

those solid foundations of your education.

Mother,

you are my mother,

it was you who taught me everything,

and I,

now,

must kill your way of thinking,

my mother,

Mother China,

my mother,

China.

In 1949,

“Founding” rang through the hearts of all the nation’s people,

and yet,

the foundations of your education have stood for thousands of years of history,

they have festered,

but you won’t let your son bandage them for you,

you make me stand by and watch

the pain on your face,

and all I can do is weep……

2009-12-25

Afterword: Chinese people put great stock in foundations, so they truly can’t be shaken, or even talked about. But Chinese people are also willing to move and repair those foundations; it’s just that some of it is too abrupt, and goes too far. We live at the bottom end of the city hierarchy, so it’s no surprise that we think about these things. Still, we’re not the tired ones, unlike some people putting on a show over there for the big shots. That’s exhausting, and laughable too. But how many Chinese people will ever wake up? Everyone says college is heaven and high school is hell. Heh, I think China really is just China. While writing this, I truly cried. I’m really sad and upset. I can’t change anything, but I can be like Jingwei trying to fill the sea one pebble at a time. ——Written by Jianfeng Yiyu on the night of December 24, 2009 Second afterword: I thought this piece was pretty good, so I posted it. I wrote it myself, and honestly I wrote it in tears, really. I’m a bit lost. I admire the American education system, but I hope China’s will improve. Countless Chinese students are like political tools, pinned firmly in place by society. Are they puppets or marionettes? Who knows. China has no marches, no organized, disciplined protests. None. Not today, not tomorrow, not the day after. There won’t be any. The motherland is very young, not even grown up yet. What I hope for is that the motherland will live forever. The nation’s tragedy: when education fails, the nation is bound to fall. ——Something I hope never happens Yesterday I made a drawing that expresses how I see education. Honestly, I want to cry. I can’t find the way forward for education. Where does the motherland’s future development lie? Which way should I go? I don’t know We seem to get called angry young men~ So are you all cowards, then? Just like the lapdogs of the Qing government?