A Sense of Belonging

This isn’t the first time I’ve come home from somewhere else for Chinese New Year, and it won’t be the last. Anyone who’s human has a strong sense of belonging. “When folks from back home meet, their eyes fill with tears,” someone on the train said, half joking. On the 19th, the morning I got back, I went straight to bed as soon as I got home. I slept until the afternoon, ate something, then went back to sleep, and I kept sleeping for two days. I only got up to eat, ate in bed, and then went back to sleep. That’s how two days went by. So exhausted I couldn’t hold up, that’s how I felt. The whole train car was packed full, not a single free seat, so you could only stand, and if you could squeeze in somewhere to sit for a bit, you were doing great. I basically stood all the way from Shanghai to home, 11 hours in total. When I got off, my legs had gone stiff and I couldn’t lift them… And the car was really hot. It was snowing outside, and I was drenched in sweat. A sense of belonging is a feeling every person has. Animals have a sense of home too. I think any animal does. The Spring Festival travel rush, I just can’t take it. I was going to write this post properly, but forget it, I’ll just wrap it up quickly. Tomorrow a few classmates are getting together, my treat. We haven’t seen each other in a few months. We may never see each other again after this. That’s life. On the train, I knew that the person sitting across from me was someone I’d meet only once in this lifetime. There’s no chance we’ll ever meet again. As for finding a girlfriend, I have to say it’s a real pain. My situation is really unstable… sigh. A line from Chang Chen-yue’s “OK”:

Sometimes I just want a one-night stand. Put real feelings in, and I’m afraid I’ll lose my freedom